My peeps

Ok, I hate the word peeps...but I had the urge.

My post today is about recognizing a few special people...

First and foremost is someone I've had in my life for a long time now. While she may be far away, we always stay connected. Tomorrow is her 27th birthday!! I wish her the best new year, and thank her for being a part of some of the best...and most interesting times in my life! I love ya Ellen Jay! Happy Happy Birthday!!

Next is a girl I've only met on here. She lives a life identical to the one I just left behind, but she has the balls (ok, not literally) to stick it out, and will hopefully be a star in no time. She's a fantastic writer, and if you haven't checked her out yet, you're really missing out. Take a little stroll to Holliewood.

Last but not least is a pretty cool lady that hit me up for a tag. Now since I have subjected you people and my poor blog to way too much info about myself, I thought I would pass on this one...since there are only so many times you can write about your favorite things, until people are like...shut up already! But this is her first tag so check her out, Bettsbits.

Guess thats all I got for today. I'm off to work to try to beautify some ladies with some sparkles. So peace!...and happy Thursday.

Words of Wisdom from Granny.

*still lying in bed with husband on a Saturday morning, enjoying not having to get up....pick up the phone to call and check in with Granny that lives in Georgia.*

Ring....Ring...

G: Hey Baby!

CS: Good morning Granny, how are you?

G: Good! What are you doin'?

CS: Oh, nothing much, still lying in bed with H, probably just hanging out today...it's nice having a day off.

G: Well, if you don't get busy in that bed there ain't gonna be no great gran babies.

CS: *shudders at the thought of Granny telling me to have sex.*

for those of us..

I thought I would share this, if you haven't seen it already. For those of us that lived it....or others that may have just witnessed it.




You know you're a 90's kid if:

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"

You've worn skorts and felt stylish

You yearned to be part of the Baby-Sitters club

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You wore a ponytail on the side of your head and had fluffed bangs

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in kindergarten

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide

You wore socks over leggings"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back"

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare"

You remember Vicki the RobotYou remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

You played and or collected "Pogs"

You owned a Skip It

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank"

You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" ... enough said

Where'd you go?

It seems that I have lost my thunder for posting...and I'm not the only one. I went through everyone on my blogroll and it seems that many have also lost that spark to write everyday. What was it that I got from it originally? Writing anonymously for others to observe. It gave me the ability to be open and honest...like writing in a diary, but better, because your diary and it's many personalities could write back. Did I become too boring for my own diary, my mundane life not exciting enough to share? I don't know really, but I think I miss it.

My friends from NY, keep trying to recruit me to join myspace.com. I have been avoiding it to no end. To me it seems a cheesy "blog" site (if you can even call it that) to meet other people. It's an online meat market to show off how hot you are, rather than stories and experiences to share. Last night I gave in and set up a profile...ONLY to keep in contact with my friends. I have no urge to post...and I'm sure the people on there have no urge to read.

Isn't that ironic in a way? The people that know me...in person I mean...know me less than the people that know me here. Better explained: My myspace friends, will hear nothing about what is going on with my life..other than a picture and a "yo whats up." The people on this blog site hear everything that I feel and go through on a daily basis, when I take the time to write, but you don't even know my first name.

I guess what I'm saying by all of this is I appreciate this place and all of our writing.
It's real...it's mundane. So I'm welcoming myself back, to writing about laundry...or my sick dogs...or anything I feel the urge to say. I hope you all continue to do the same.

oh, and no offense to any myspacers....it's cool...really.

Wednesday

So I haven't been posting much. Maybe I just feel I haven't had much to say...at least nothing worth typing about. You know, the same old stuff... I miss NY, CT is boring...blah blah blah...I'm even sick of listening to myself. I have been working, so that is also keeping me away.

For the drama of my week...my dogs decided to open the pantry..rip open a garbage bag, and eat it's contents. There was chocolate in the bag, which is poisonous to dogs. None of them got sick except the little 4lb chihuahua with epliepsy. Of course! So husband and I ended up in the animal emergency room at 1am, after she had a pretty big seizure. She's home now...and seems to be recovering ok. I feel like I keep having the worst luck when it comes to my pets. Random foot growths...epilepsy...now eating chocolate! Give me a freakin' break!

Other than that, life has been pretty good. No complaints really. I am enjoying being closer to my family...it's nice to be around people that really do want you to be happy. Nice change.

quote

"People want so much. We want to be someone else. I want to be stronger. I want to be more directed. I want to be superwoman. But it's not possible. You must accept your condition. But "accept" is active. Who you are is active. Passive acceptance- that's the immobile, inanimate Zen. It's not the Zen I'm talking about. There's passion here. Spirit for the quest. This is important: the sincerity of our quest and how we go about it. Are you prepared? Do you want to walk on this path? Don't think about it too much. Just walk! C'mon, let's go! That's Zen."
-Jakusho Kwong

my ABCD's

ABCDs


A is for Age: 27

B is for Booze of choice: Glass of red wine, when I'm at home. Kettle one and club sodas when I'm out for the night.

C is for Career: still to be determined.

D is for your Dog's name: Chief, Mia and Jade.

E is for Essential items you use every day:Deodorant, toothpaste...perfume...moisterizer, soap...coffee...

F is for Favorite song at the moment: hmmm...don't really have a fav at the moment

G is for favorite Games: playing random jokes on people. like hiding rubber snakes.

H is for Hometown: hmm...original: Jacksonville, FL

I is for Instruments you play: air guitar

J is for Jam or Jelly you like: does peanut butter count?

K is for Kids: Just the pups as of now

L is for Last kiss: this morning

M is for Most admired trait: I like my stomach.

N is for Name of your crush: when that guy sings that song "You're beautiful", I think he sounds pretty hot.

O is for Overnight hospital stays:None.

P is for phobias: never "finding" myself ...oh, and when I'm home alone and hear strange sounds, I start to believe in ghosts.

Q is for quotes you like: one of many "People who never get carried away should be." - Malcolm Forbes

R is for biggest Regret: adopting a poor broken old dog from the animal shelter. Keeping her for a year, but she wouldn't stop peeing everywhere...so I gave her away...to someone I didn't know. I cried everyday for a week, and I still feel a pit in my stomach when I think about her, cause I don't know what happened, or if she was ok.

S is for Sweets of your choice: I don't like sweets.

T is for Time you wake up: around 9am

U is for Underwear: Thongs...I don't like underwear lines showing through my pants.

V is for Vegetable you love:I really love all veggies, always have.

W is for Worst Habit:playing with my hair, when I'm bored, happy, sad, anxious...etc.

X is for X-rays you've had:Dental, kidney stones

Y is for Yummy food you make: I like to think it's all good, but my husband especially loves when I make "trailor park" meals....mixing everything we have in the kitchen together when no one wants to go to the grocery store.

Z is for Zodiac sign:Virgo.

I'm not tagging anyone, but whoever is bored like me...is welcome to play along.

A day at home.

I left NYC three months and ten days ago...Not that I'm counting. My life was in a downward spiral. I felt stuck, and I wasn't happy. I had a modeling agency close and steal thousands of dollars from me. I threw myself into bartending a few nights a week...Which was filled with partying and drugs. All of the people in my life were not real, and life was about where they were going. I became confused with what I wanted.

I woke up this morning, away from it all. I still feel the longing for what I left behind. For the life of me, I can't figure out what it is that I'm still missing so much. Besides the wonderful city that I love with every part of me,( that I'm close enough to visit whenever I want!). Is it the drama? The excitement of it all? I mean, my life is pretty quiet now. It's all just so damn different! Maybe I'll move back one day. Or maybe I'll let that life be a part of me and stay in my past.

Husband and I talk about having kids now. Not that we're trying! But if it happens, it happens. That's one of the big reasons why we moved here, a better place to raise a family. How do you know when you're ready to be responsible for another human being? I mean I am the most nurturing person I know. Maybe it's the thought of having to grow up myself. People I talk to say you can't plan for something like that...You're never ready. You just do it.
I don't know...We'll see.

I have the day off today...And I have about 300lbs of laundry to wash. Not too different from what I would be doing if I was still in Manhattan. Just without a hangover. Guess it's not so bad afterall.


Zen calendar says:

"Abjure the why and seek the how."
-Sir Richard Francis Burton

Buddha says...

"I have something. When you look at it, it's there, but when you look for it, it's not. What is it?"
-Zen Koan


Anyone know what it is? I'm really curious.

The past few days have been better. I went out a few nights, and relieved some stress. It's amazing the effect vodka has. I think everyone around me has been super stressed and have been using me as a giant ear.

Which is ok, I don't mind being the shoulder to lean on, but sometimes they forget to ask how I'm doing. Kinda brings you down, when that's the mood of everyone around you.

Well, life is good...I hope Jules has a better day, we've all been there.

Thursay

Thirteen Things about CITYSOUL 1. This Thursday 13 may be getting a little old, but hey, I feel like writing and I have nothing else to say...and it's my blog. 2. I don't want to go to work today, yes I know, who the hell does? 3. My dog is home from the hospital having the "growth" removed from his foot...no it wasn't cancer, just a $400.00 nuisance. 4. My husband has been very stressed at work lately, it's not working for us. 5. My stepdad gave me an inversion table, my new favorite thing is hanging upside down...I don't even know what it's really for, nor do I care. 6. I had to reformat my computer yesterday because of some asshole virus, and now everything I had saved on here is gone. I have to find everything all over again. 7. I sound kinda pissed today. 8. Could be listening to unhappy people so much for the past week that it's bringing me down...could also be all the rain and snow. 9. I still daydream about winning the lottery...even though I haven't played in a while, and I don't think my life is supposed to be that easy. 10. I found a few grey hairs...I'm 27...that makes me pissed. I guess it's ok since I color my hair anyway, although now I have to pay for it. I used to get it done for free at the best salon when I lived in NYC, damnit Connecticut. 11. I hate to listen to myself complain...it sounds stupid and selfish, because I know I have alot to be grateful for....it just feels good to get it out. 12. I am a great motivational speaker, I always help people see the positive in everything....does that mean I'm a fraud if I am pessimistic when it comes to myself? 13. I will sign off with the Buddha calendar quote of the day, cause I'm cool like that, "Little minds are interested in the extrodinary; great minds are interested in the commonplace." - Elbert Hubbard Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Another year

My New Year's Eve was interesting to say the least. I'm not sure what I expected. The past few years I have worked, since everyone knows there is no better night for a bartender to make major bank. Since I have a "real" job this year, I had the night off and decided to spend it with my new girlfriend from work. Yes, this is the girl I've been talking about with the cheating boyfriend. She has since discovered, not only is he a cheater, but really a plain psychopath. It has all turned into a Lifetime drama...He was basically carrying on with a triple life, having relationships with three different women. With the schedule of a homicide detective, (yes he really is) it was very easy for him to lie about his where abouts. Since her life is a tornado and she was alone, husband dropped me off at her house for a girlsnight out to ring in the new year.

We arrived at the bar just minitues before midnight and were able to cheers with a shot of Stoli O and a hug with promises of a great friendship to come. Looking around I was still very unsure of this new town "scene", but I sipped my cocktail and prepared to be a good sport. We ventured home at 2am, and I thanked my lucky stars for the husband I had at home, after a night of talking to blubbering idiots. We were pretty drunk when we got back to her house, and she proceeded to drunk dial everyone in her phone, and every number she could find on scrap paper around the house. After about an hour of this, I yelled at her and told her to drop the damn phone or I was finding a way home. She hung up and with a quivering lip burst into tears. The guilt of my insensitivity set in, and I made her sit next to me on the couch. I held her and rubbed her head for hours, assuring her everything would be ok. All of which would have been very awkward had we not been extremely buzzed. We fell asleep at who knows what hour, but at least there was silence.

I awoke sometime around 10am, with a spinning headache and a drooling boxer panting in my face. I looked over to see my friend still asleep, so I dragged my ass out of bed to take the dog out. Once again feeling how weird this is to be taking care of someone I hardly know. I stayed at her house, assuring her my night was great, and not to worry about the drama. Husband picked me up in the early evening, after work and I thanked him greatly for being the sane part of my life.

I have been thinking about this whole New Year's resolution thing...I mean, we make them...but we don't really stick to them. I guess I have a few I would like to try

1. when other people are making decisions for themselves, not to be critical and give unsolicited advice. People need to make their own mistakes to learn from them.

2. Find inner peace. Not be so critical of myself, stop feeling as though I should be doing more.

3. Get over feeling as though I am nothing unless everyone else in the world can see it. Lack of attention as a child has made me want to overcompensate as an adult...Hence wanting to be the famous actress...someone that other people love and respect.

4. I have many small passions, things I love to do..but I would like to find one that I could someday make a living at.

I hope you all had a great New Years'.

Oh I received a Buddha calender for Christmas with daily teachings...so Buddha lesson of the day is:

"On the day you were born, you begin to die. Do not waste a single moment more."
- Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche