Another year

My New Year's Eve was interesting to say the least. I'm not sure what I expected. The past few years I have worked, since everyone knows there is no better night for a bartender to make major bank. Since I have a "real" job this year, I had the night off and decided to spend it with my new girlfriend from work. Yes, this is the girl I've been talking about with the cheating boyfriend. She has since discovered, not only is he a cheater, but really a plain psychopath. It has all turned into a Lifetime drama...He was basically carrying on with a triple life, having relationships with three different women. With the schedule of a homicide detective, (yes he really is) it was very easy for him to lie about his where abouts. Since her life is a tornado and she was alone, husband dropped me off at her house for a girlsnight out to ring in the new year.

We arrived at the bar just minitues before midnight and were able to cheers with a shot of Stoli O and a hug with promises of a great friendship to come. Looking around I was still very unsure of this new town "scene", but I sipped my cocktail and prepared to be a good sport. We ventured home at 2am, and I thanked my lucky stars for the husband I had at home, after a night of talking to blubbering idiots. We were pretty drunk when we got back to her house, and she proceeded to drunk dial everyone in her phone, and every number she could find on scrap paper around the house. After about an hour of this, I yelled at her and told her to drop the damn phone or I was finding a way home. She hung up and with a quivering lip burst into tears. The guilt of my insensitivity set in, and I made her sit next to me on the couch. I held her and rubbed her head for hours, assuring her everything would be ok. All of which would have been very awkward had we not been extremely buzzed. We fell asleep at who knows what hour, but at least there was silence.

I awoke sometime around 10am, with a spinning headache and a drooling boxer panting in my face. I looked over to see my friend still asleep, so I dragged my ass out of bed to take the dog out. Once again feeling how weird this is to be taking care of someone I hardly know. I stayed at her house, assuring her my night was great, and not to worry about the drama. Husband picked me up in the early evening, after work and I thanked him greatly for being the sane part of my life.

I have been thinking about this whole New Year's resolution thing...I mean, we make them...but we don't really stick to them. I guess I have a few I would like to try

1. when other people are making decisions for themselves, not to be critical and give unsolicited advice. People need to make their own mistakes to learn from them.

2. Find inner peace. Not be so critical of myself, stop feeling as though I should be doing more.

3. Get over feeling as though I am nothing unless everyone else in the world can see it. Lack of attention as a child has made me want to overcompensate as an adult...Hence wanting to be the famous actress...someone that other people love and respect.

4. I have many small passions, things I love to do..but I would like to find one that I could someday make a living at.

I hope you all had a great New Years'.

Oh I received a Buddha calender for Christmas with daily teachings...so Buddha lesson of the day is:

"On the day you were born, you begin to die. Do not waste a single moment more."
- Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche